Sextortion

What is sextortion?

Sextortion is a form of child sexual exploitation where someone tricks or pressures youth into sending nude or sexual pictures. They then use that content to extort (blackmail) the child. They might threaten to share the pictures, unless the child sends more content, engages in sexual activity, or sends them money.

Who are the criminals?

The person doing this may be someone that the child knows personally, such as an dating partner. However, most of the time they are strangers that use a fake account online. The criminals almost always work to build trust first. Youth often initially believe they are sharing photos with someone who cares about them.

For YOUTH
FOR PARENTS & PROFESSIONALS

Information for Youth

Red flags online

They ask you to move to a more private app.

  • For example, you meet someone while gaming, and they ask for your phone number or social media. That’s a red flag—especially if you don’t know them in real life.

You don’t know them in person.

  • You can’t be sure the person in the pictures is the one messaging you. Watch out if:

    • You have no mutual friends.

    • They won’t video chat or say their camera is broken.

Their account seems suspicious.

  • Their usernames are different on each platform.

  • They don’t have many posts or followers.

  • Their account looks new.

  • There are no comments from friends or group photos with tags.

They ask for nude or sexual content.

  • This is a big red flag—especially if they ask right away or want pictures with your face in them.

Their messages don’t make sense.

  • They might spell simple words wrong or use weird slang.

  • Their grammar is off.

  • They may be part of a group working together, so the person you talk to in the morning might not be the same one at night. That’s why their story might change or not make sense.

Responding to Sextortion

What to do:

  • Quit responding.

    The person is trying to scare you into making quick choices without thinking. Put your phone down and talk to someone you trust.

  • Never give in to their demands.

    No matter what they say, don’t do what they ask. They may threaten to send your photos to friends, family, or your school—but most of the time, they don’t even have that information. Their goal is to scare you.

  • Find someone you trust.

    You don’t have to go through this alone. The person trying to hurt you wants you to feel like you have no one—but that’s not true. Find a trusted adult like a parent, older sibling, coach, teacher, counselor, or school resource officer. If you feel more comfortable talking to a friend first, that’s okay too. You can ask them to help you talk to an adult.

  • Save the evidence.

    Keep the messages. Take screenshots of the account. Write down anything that might help identify the person.

  • Make a report.

    Reporting to the police might feel scary, but they are there to help you. Even if you sent a photo, you are the victim. The person threatening you is the one doing something wrong.

    You can also report anonymously through:

    • Safe2Tell

    • NCMEC’s (National Center for Missing and Exploited Children) Cyber Tip Line.

    • To remove any explicit photos of minors from the internet, use NCMEC’s ‘Take It Down’ service.

Remember that is never the victim’s fault. Sextortion can make someone feel embarrassed or ashamed, but the only person who should feel guilty is the criminal. If a friend is going through sextortion, remind them it’s not their fault—and let them know you’re there to support them.

Existing in digital spaces…

& staying safe in online interactions

  • Don’t share personal information like:

    • Where you live

    • What school you go to

    • Your phone number or address

    Even small details can be used to find out more about you. Keep your private info safe!

    • Set your profiles to private. This helps keep your information safe and limits who can see your posts.

    • Change your settings to block messages Only allow messages from people you follow or are friends with.

    • Be careful in public online spaces. Avoid using video game chats, Discord servers, or other public groups that let strangers message you directly.

  • If someone seems off or makes you uncomfortable, block and report them right away. They won’t be notified that you did it. There’s no harm in being careful—it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

    • Adults are more likely to message accounts that look like other adults. Pretending to be older can attract the wrong kind of attention.

    • Adult content online is less filtered. It can lead to ads, search results, or posts that are uncomfortable or unsafe for teens.

  • Even with friends, never share:

    • Your passwords

    • Your location

    Keeping this information private helps protect your safety online and in person.

Teenage boy playing video games on a computer.

Information for Parents and Professionals

Warning signs in adolescent behavior

  • It’s red flag if someone starts spending less time with family and friends—especially if they’re choosing to be online instead of doing things they used to enjoy.

  • It’s a red flag if teens start getting things like:

    • Food deliveries (like DoorDash) from people they don’t know

    • New clothes or items that seem expensive

    • Extra money without a clear reason

      These could be signs that someone is being targeted or groomed online.

  • It’s a warning sign if someone is online a lot more than usual and gets really upset when they can’t be. Sometimes, extortionists pressure youth to respond quickly or make threats if they don’t. This can cause a lot of stress and anxiety—especially if the person feels like they have to “fix” the situation right away.

  • It’s a red flag if someone:

    • Hides their screen when others are around

    • Uses their phone under the table

    • Quickly puts their device away when someone walks by

      This kind of behavior might mean they’re feeling pressured or hiding something that’s making them uncomfortable.

  • Look out for changes like:

    • Increased anxiety or constant worry

    • Feeling sad or hopeless (signs of depression)

    • Mood swings—changing emotions very quickly

    • Getting angry more often or more easily

    • Hurting themselves (self-harm)

      These signs can mean someone is going through a tough time and may need support.

Teenaged girl sitting with her phone in her hands.

Talking to Youth

Preventative conversations

Talking with Younger Children

  • Teach them what not to share online, like their location or passwords.

  • Talk about safe online behavior—what’s okay to do, what apps or games are appropriate, and what not to post or send.

  • Warn them about strange links or pop-ups, and let them know it’s okay to ask an adult if something seems off.

  • Make sure they know not to talk to strangers online, and to tell an adult if someone makes them feel uncomfortable.

  • Prepare them to handle uncomfortable situations, like turning off the screen and telling a trusted adult right away.

Talking with Older Children

  • Teach them the warning signs of online dangers like scams or fake accounts. What’s obvious to adults might not be to them.

  • Show them how to use privacy settings on apps to protect themselves.

  • Help them handle tough online situations, like arguments with friends. Explain how tone and body language don’t always come across clearly online.

  • Talk about sexting—what it is, why it’s risky, and what to do if someone asks for or sends explicit content.

  • Remind them you’re always there to help, even if they make a mistake.

Responding to sextortion & other harmful experiences

  • Let them know that you care and are there to help. If a child comes to you, they’ve likely overcome a lot of fear and shame to do so. Asking for help is hard and you should feel proud they trust you enough to do so.

  • Include them throughout the reporting process. This helps them feel supported and in control.

  • Don’t delete any evidence until all reports are made.

  • Report the offender on the platform. This can help remove their account and any harmful content. Read the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s (NCMEC) Removal Guide.

  • Use NCMEC’s other reporting services:

    • Cyber Tip Line – to report child sexual exploitation (reports go to law enforcement)

    • Take It Down – to help remove explicit images of minors from the internet.

  • Report to local law enforcement.

  • Visit THORN to learn more about how to talk to youth about sextortion.

Other Forms of Violence