Strangulation

In some cases of domestic violence, strangulation and suffocation are used as ways to hurt or control someone.

Strangulation happens when someone puts pressure on another person’s neck, stopping them from breathing or cutting off blood flow.
Suffocation means stopping someone from getting air, making it hard or impossible for them to breathe.

Even though some people try to make strangulation seem normal, it’s extremely dangerous. It’s a way for an abuser to show complete control over someone. Strangulation can cause serious emotional trauma and, in some cases, can even be deadly.

Learn more about the dangers of sex and strangulation.

Dangers in Strangulation

It’s one of the most deadly forms of abuse.
It’s a strong warning sign that more violence could happen in the future—even murder.
It can cause serious brain injuries, especially ones that affect memory.
A person can pass out in seconds and die within minutes.
It can cause major internal damage, even if there are no visible marks on the outside.

Woman silhouette with a label on her neck with the word "fragile".

Signs and Symptoms

Bruising on the neck or ears
Ringing in the ears
Neck pain
Trouble swallowing
Hoarse voice
Discolored or swollen tongue and lips
Drooling
Bloodshot eyes

Nausea or vomiting
Trouble breathing
Seizures
Passing out (loss of consciousness)
Memory loss
Incontinence (loss of bladder or bowel control)
Vision changes

Changes in mood or personality
Changes in sleep patterns
PTSD
Depression
Suicidal ideation
Anxiety
Severe stress

Important: Strangulation doesn’t always leave marks, but it can still cause serious long-term damage—especially to the brain. Many effects show up later because of the lack of oxygen and hidden internal injuries.

How to Support Someone After Strangulation

Help them get medical care. Even if they feel okay, strangulation can cause serious hidden injuries.
Believe them. Let them know you trust what they’re saying.
Support their feelings. Listen without judgment and let them talk if they want to.
Don’t make choices for them. Let them stay in control of their decisions.
Learn more. Educate yourself so you can better understand what they’re going through.
Check in regularly. Keep showing up for them, even after time has passed.
Help them understand their options. Talk through what support and services are available.
Connect them to resources. Help them find professionals who can offer the right help.
Keep their story private. Don’t share what happened with others unless they say it’s okay.
Talk about how serious the abuse was. Help them understand the danger they were in.
Help them document what happened. This can be useful if they choose to report it later.

Dangers of Sex & Strangulation

-Brenda Bassett

(Outreach Victim Advocate, City of Longmont)

Gael Strack, co-founder of the Training Institute on Strangulation Prevention states that “referring to the practice of ‘choking’ during sex is not medically or legally accurate” He goes on to suggest that opting to use the term ‘choking’ minimizes what is really happening – strangulation, a term we often associate with more violent behavior. Dr. Debby Hebbernick with the Indiana University School of Public Health and Center for Sexual Health Promotion, states that in her studies, none of her participants ever refer to it as strangulation, and participants admit that they associate the term ‘strangulation’ with “aggression, crime or more harmful pressure”, something they don’t consider themselves a part of.

The overlap between strangulation and Domestic Violence cannot be dismissed. In a training attended by Longmont Victim Advocates titled “Survivors Perspective: The Impact of Strangulation During Sex/Sexual Choking” by the Alliance for Hope International, results from another study shared, indicated that of the women who had experienced strangulation during sex, 94% reported the strangulation being done by an intimate partner. A shocking 84% of those women said they wanted it to stop at some point, and 67% of those women reported that partners did not stop when asked. The Gabby Petito case is often referenced in these trainings, as it is now known that Brian Laundrie strangled Gabby to death in the 2021 high profile case. Many experts have speculated that when Brian Laundrie strangled Gabby to death, it wasn’t the first time he had put his hands around her neck. Laundrie had essentially practiced killing her through previous violent sexual encounters. As one presenter asked, what message is a man sending when he strangles his partner? As victim advocates, we cannot ignore the power and control demonstrated through these encounters.

There is much information regarding the topic of sex and strangulation and many of the professionals involved take a sophisticated and scholarly approach to the work they do to reach a very simple conclusion: sex and strangulation is a highly dangerous practice that can easily lead to death at the hands of a so-called partner, and that should not be veiled under the premise of romance, love and intimacy.

*If you suspect a victim has suffered strangulation, regardless of the type of encounter, please be sure to get the victim the immediate medical attention.

While strangulation continues to be a hot topic in the victim advocacy world, sex and strangulation is becoming an equally concerning topic. It could arguably be a more significant issue since it is often hidden under the guise of consent. In the article, “Being Choked During Sex is Rising in Popularity Among Young People” Amanda Kippert reports that in 2020 a staggering 64% of college students reported being choked during sex with it disproportionately affecting women. The article discusses the various reasons for the trend. Unsurprisingly, many of the sources point to pop culture, social media and increased access to pornography for glamorizing the trend as something for those willing to be “adventurous” in the bedroom. Unfortunately, as choking during sex become more mainstream, the dangers and risks associated are not as widely understood. As we know in the law enforcement community, harm from strangulation happens quickly; after 5-10 seconds, a victim may lose consciousness, after 15 seconds, a victim may experience loss of bladder, after 30 seconds, a victim may experience loss of bowel control, and after only 1 minute, a person can be killed by strangulation. It is no surprise that strangulation was identified as the most common cause of death in the BDSM community from 1986 to 2020, according to the National Library of Medicine.